Once you believe someone is annoyed with you, a short reply can seem like confirmation. A delayed answer can appear to prove the same thing. Even a friendly message may be dismissed as forced.
Confirmation bias describes the tendency to seek or interpret evidence in ways that favour an existing belief. Nickerson’s review explains the idea across many settings. Applying it to everyday messaging is a useful reflection exercise, not a diagnosis of either participant. Read the review.
Ask yourself: ‘What message would I accept as evidence that my interpretation might be wrong?’ If the honest answer is none, you may be treating the belief as impossible to question.
Then return to the actual conversation. Is there a clear unresolved issue? Has the person said what they are feeling? Would a direct, respectful question be more useful than rereading the thread?
For example: ‘I wasn’t sure how the change landed with you. Do you have any concerns we should discuss?’ gives the person room to explain.
The goal is not forced optimism. It is a more accurate understanding, including the possibility that something really is wrong. Let the next piece of information update your view rather than merely decorate a conclusion you already made.